christina & her newborn baby-michelle

congratulations to my friend, christina with her newborn baby michelle!!

承認

不管我們這一生撒過多少謊，自欺的時候終究是比欺人的時候多。
騙自己畢竟比騙別人容易。
我對你說謊的時候，眼睛也許微笑顫抖，心虛地害怕你其實早已經看穿了我。
我對自己說謊的時候，卻也許就連眉頭都不會皺一下。
要承認人生裡許多不完美的真相，委實太殘忍了。那麼，我難道沒有權利對自己說謊嗎？
然而，孤單的清醒的夜晚，當身邊沒有觀眾的一刻，我們不得不苦澀地承認，人有時候還是騙不了自己。

我要承認，我並沒有自己以為的那麼好。
承認我從來沒有自己以為的那麼好看。
承認我即使比現在再努力些，也不過如此。
承認我的天份比不上別人。
承認我會妒忌，甚至曾經深深妒忌我最好的朋友，希望他沒有我活得那麼好。
承認我沒有自己以為的那麼愛你。
承認我最愛的還是我自己。
承認我曾經對你否認的事。那就是：我是需要你，而不是愛你。
承認你不適合我，我也不適合你。
承認不管我們有多麼愛對方，也不可能一起生活，不可能長相廝守。
承認我們都無法為對方改變。
承認我們可以沒有彼此而活。

承認愛已消逝。
然後有一天，承認你已經不愛我了。

摘自小娴部落

Thinnovation - MacBook Air

oh my god! Apple comes out new tech again. this time, i really like this new notebook "MacBook Air"

it's so thin. so light. such a big screen (13.3 inch), LED screen, cool match color with silver and black. it's so cool!!!

i fall in love with this new product at the moment i see it. such a beautiful machine!

it's definitely suit light user like me. i can even bring it along anywhere i go, go shopping, go cafe and go online anytime as well. put in my laundry bag(the big denim bag i carry everywhere i go,almost everywhere i go) or Celia called it as "rubbish bag" and i will not feel the weight of it.

such a advance creative stuff and i absolutely love this!! it suits me so much just the price will not suit me at all =( Apple is selling USD1799 for this. can you imaging how much they will charge it here??

i can not afford it =(

anyone thinking of my birthday present 5 months later?? take this into consideration okay? i m sure MacBook Air already out in Malaysia market by then.. hehe..


"MacBook Air is ultrathin, ultraportable, and ultra unlike anything else. But you don’t lose inches and pounds overnight. It’s the result of rethinking conventions. Of multiple wireless innovations. And of breakthrough design. With MacBook Air, mobile computing suddenly has a new standard. " from Apple.com

check out more at Apple.com. ENJOY!

i lose a friend, somewhat

i lose a friend, somewhat. what i mean somewhat because this guy still alive, not a dead one. i lose him because he is not he anymore.

you feel sad when you lose something, do not even talk about a human being. in case, disappointment is more than sad. he is still alive. i will be more sad if he is dead. so no sad for this cases so he is alive =p

love is wonderful.being in relationship with love is absolutely wonderful. this i totally agree.

i first felt happy for this friend as he finally found his love after years of searching. it is so great if someone you care with someone he cares and someone who cares about him. this is beautiful, no doubt. the next minutes, i find out this friend has become someone else for what happen to him and what he does. a person that i do not know anymore. and, i question myself if i am the one who change or he is the one who change. very obvious, i am not in for this case.

i am so disappointed. because he has lost himself. and, people change, all the time, for the good one and for the bad one. this depend.

before, he is someone i feel secure with, someone i can trust and someone i can share with. i told him quite a number of stuff that i do not tell anybody else(maybe with ah boon). he is this kind of friend. here, i do not criticize that relationship kills a person. this is more like individual cases. relationship will not kill you if you stand for you who are. see, who has strong core characters will not change because of relationship or what who are mature enough not to change for who he is except for habits, like bring along partners when out for yumcha or spending more time with partner at home or outside. that 's about it. and for sake, do not lost own self. however, most people do change for a narrow one, sad to say so.

now, i do not think that i will disturb him anymore. still friend of course but not someone that i feel secure with anymore =(

friends come and go. friends play important role in life, this is something that we all know. we all need friends for reasons. i believe that when life cycle goes, friends will change, come and go, come and go.

hope that the girl will not screw him up. even so, nothing i can do. this is a lesson. life lesson we all need to go through.

good luck! as long as he is happy. still he has my blessed, deep down in my heart.



ps: thanks for always be with me, boon.

after we die. . .

where will we be when we are not alive??

i have been bothered with this stupid question the whole evening. yes, it is absolutely stupid to keep mingling with this in my mind. we all know, there will be no answer. i do not take into consideration for any religion stories here.

in malaysia, malay have to be in islam(i m sorry, malays do not have a choice to choose, born to be). chinese and indians always have more choices to choose. i, as a chinese, can either be into taism or buddhism if i do not choose any other religions.

this is confusing for definition of death for both taoism and buddhism. one believes to go UP and one can go DOWN. Up means in Nirvana(heaven)(i do not mean Nirvana S/B here okay. no offence at all); down means Hell.

if you are in buddhism, with your karma, you will be with Buddha at Nirvana. then you will be another Buddhas, REBORN with your spirit and never ever will physically alive again.

if you believe in taism style, with your karma, you will be in either Heaven, Human Life, Asura, Hungry Ghost, Animals, Hell and reborn.

so what if we stuck in the middle and where will we be?? where will we be?? do our altars offered with flowers and fruits or with joss stick and hell bank notes??
where our souls will be? how funny it will be for my family has to trouble for what to offer to my soul when i am not alive..

i am thinking hard..

we lose our mind, sometimes.

on and of, I'll hide myself. hiding does not mean i will find a place and hide. or i would say "missing-in-action".

people who knows me will understand that i am positive outer and negative inner. i do not think same as what my face tells you. i always surprised people with how i think,normally it's always the bad side. i am not a very knowledgeable girl. i do not impress people when i talk. it's absolute normal if you find my conversation to be empty and plain.

sometimes, people like me, always got depressed by something easily. it can be a song, a movie, a picture even a number, anything ridiculous things you can name. basically, nobody can help. recovery takes times and/or money. some serious who need to talk to doctor. a doctor can listen to you and give you medicine, what we so called "psychologist"; some not serious(like me)just look for our own ways to release. each individuals has their own way.

for me, there will be no certain way. i can be at home do nothing or do anything. i can go out to buy stuff (buying philosophy works sometimes). i can go to Starbucks/coffee beans order a hot latte and read book or play psp(not mine. borrow one) and lazy the whole evening. the worst, I'll workout and cry myself to sleep. when my body is freaking tired, it's absolutely easy to cry to sleep.

i do not know how to encourage a friend who is in depression now. it's absolutely too personal to ask for anything.(by the way, i do not ask and i do not expect people to ask too. I'll tell when i want to) there is no right way to say anything. still, i wanna him to know, we are just a call away. it's okay for what you are right now as long as this made you feel alive. laugh when you want to laugh, cry when you want to cry, hide when you want to hide.

when emotion over mind, it's just too much to say anything.

we lose our mind too, sometimes.

we do not need words to get well by. it's too far way for what words can easily do.


p/s: pardon me for all the missed called and no reply msg when I'm lost.

Shin - my housekeepr

i have a cat. his name is Shin. he is my housekeeper. he likes to sleep alot and totally ignore human being most of the time. not so friendly, not so cool. cute one, not so obedient one..