christina & her newborn baby-michelle

congratulations to my friend, christina with her newborn baby michelle!!

承認

不管我們這一生撒過多少謊，自欺的時候終究是比欺人的時候多。
騙自己畢竟比騙別人容易。
我對你說謊的時候，眼睛也許微笑顫抖，心虛地害怕你其實早已經看穿了我。
我對自己說謊的時候，卻也許就連眉頭都不會皺一下。
要承認人生裡許多不完美的真相，委實太殘忍了。那麼，我難道沒有權利對自己說謊嗎？
然而，孤單的清醒的夜晚，當身邊沒有觀眾的一刻，我們不得不苦澀地承認，人有時候還是騙不了自己。

我要承認，我並沒有自己以為的那麼好。
承認我從來沒有自己以為的那麼好看。
承認我即使比現在再努力些，也不過如此。
承認我的天份比不上別人。
承認我會妒忌，甚至曾經深深妒忌我最好的朋友，希望他沒有我活得那麼好。
承認我沒有自己以為的那麼愛你。
承認我最愛的還是我自己。
承認我曾經對你否認的事。那就是：我是需要你，而不是愛你。
承認你不適合我，我也不適合你。
承認不管我們有多麼愛對方，也不可能一起生活，不可能長相廝守。
承認我們都無法為對方改變。
承認我們可以沒有彼此而活。

承認愛已消逝。
然後有一天，承認你已經不愛我了。

摘自小娴部落

Thinnovation - MacBook Air

oh my god! Apple comes out new tech again. this time, i really like this new notebook "MacBook Air"

it's so thin. so light. such a big screen (13.3 inch), LED screen, cool match color with silver and black. it's so cool!!!

i fall in love with this new product at the moment i see it. such a beautiful machine!

it's definitely suit light user like me. i can even bring it along anywhere i go, go shopping, go cafe and go online anytime as well. put in my laundry bag(the big denim bag i carry everywhere i go,almost everywhere i go) or Celia called it as "rubbish bag" and i will not feel the weight of it.

such a advance creative stuff and i absolutely love this!! it suits me so much just the price will not suit me at all =( Apple is selling USD1799 for this. can you imaging how much they will charge it here??

i can not afford it =(

anyone thinking of my birthday present 5 months later?? take this into consideration okay? i m sure MacBook Air already out in Malaysia market by then.. hehe..


"MacBook Air is ultrathin, ultraportable, and ultra unlike anything else. But you don’t lose inches and pounds overnight. It’s the result of rethinking conventions. Of multiple wireless innovations. And of breakthrough design. With MacBook Air, mobile computing suddenly has a new standard. " from Apple.com

check out more at Apple.com. ENJOY!

i lose a friend, somewhat

i lose a friend, somewhat. what i mean somewhat because this guy still alive, not a dead one. i lose him because he is not he anymore.

you feel sad when you lose something, do not even talk about a human being. in case, disappointment is more than sad. he is still alive. i will be more sad if he is dead. so no sad for this cases so he is alive =p

love is wonderful.being in relationship with love is absolutely wonderful. this i totally agree.

i first felt happy for this friend as he finally found his love after years of searching. it is so great if someone you care with someone he cares and someone who cares about him. this is beautiful, no doubt. the next minutes, i find out this friend has become someone else for what happen to him and what he does. a person that i do not know anymore. and, i question myself if i am the one who change or he is the one who change. very obvious, i am not in for this case.

i am so disappointed. because he has lost himself. and, people change, all the time, for the good one and for the bad one. this depend.

before, he is someone i feel secure with, someone i can trust and someone i can share with. i told him quite a number of stuff that i do not tell anybody else(maybe with ah boon). he is this kind of friend. here, i do not criticize that relationship kills a person. this is more like individual cases. relationship will not kill you if you stand for you who are. see, who has strong core characters will not change because of relationship or what who are mature enough not to change for who he is except for habits, like bring along partners when out for yumcha or spending more time with partner at home or outside. that 's about it. and for sake, do not lost own self. however, most people do change for a narrow one, sad to say so.

now, i do not think that i will disturb him anymore. still friend of course but not someone that i feel secure with anymore =(

friends come and go. friends play important role in life, this is something that we all know. we all need friends for reasons. i believe that when life cycle goes, friends will change, come and go, come and go.

hope that the girl will not screw him up. even so, nothing i can do. this is a lesson. life lesson we all need to go through.

good luck! as long as he is happy. still he has my blessed, deep down in my heart.



ps: thanks for always be with me, boon.

after we die. . .

where will we be when we are not alive??

i have been bothered with this stupid question the whole evening. yes, it is absolutely stupid to keep mingling with this in my mind. we all know, there will be no answer. i do not take into consideration for any religion stories here.

in malaysia, malay have to be in islam(i m sorry, malays do not have a choice to choose, born to be). chinese and indians always have more choices to choose. i, as a chinese, can either be into taism or buddhism if i do not choose any other religions.

this is confusing for definition of death for both taoism and buddhism. one believes to go UP and one can go DOWN. Up means in Nirvana(heaven)(i do not mean Nirvana S/B here okay. no offence at all); down means Hell.

if you are in buddhism, with your karma, you will be with Buddha at Nirvana. then you will be another Buddhas, REBORN with your spirit and never ever will physically alive again.

if you believe in taism style, with your karma, you will be in either Heaven, Human Life, Asura, Hungry Ghost, Animals, Hell and reborn.

so what if we stuck in the middle and where will we be?? where will we be?? do our altars offered with flowers and fruits or with joss stick and hell bank notes??
where our souls will be? how funny it will be for my family has to trouble for what to offer to my soul when i am not alive..

i am thinking hard..

we lose our mind, sometimes.

on and of, I'll hide myself. hiding does not mean i will find a place and hide. or i would say "missing-in-action".

people who knows me will understand that i am positive outer and negative inner. i do not think same as what my face tells you. i always surprised people with how i think,normally it's always the bad side. i am not a very knowledgeable girl. i do not impress people when i talk. it's absolute normal if you find my conversation to be empty and plain.

sometimes, people like me, always got depressed by something easily. it can be a song, a movie, a picture even a number, anything ridiculous things you can name. basically, nobody can help. recovery takes times and/or money. some serious who need to talk to doctor. a doctor can listen to you and give you medicine, what we so called "psychologist"; some not serious(like me)just look for our own ways to release. each individuals has their own way.

for me, there will be no certain way. i can be at home do nothing or do anything. i can go out to buy stuff (buying philosophy works sometimes). i can go to Starbucks/coffee beans order a hot latte and read book or play psp(not mine. borrow one) and lazy the whole evening. the worst, I'll workout and cry myself to sleep. when my body is freaking tired, it's absolutely easy to cry to sleep.

i do not know how to encourage a friend who is in depression now. it's absolutely too personal to ask for anything.(by the way, i do not ask and i do not expect people to ask too. I'll tell when i want to) there is no right way to say anything. still, i wanna him to know, we are just a call away. it's okay for what you are right now as long as this made you feel alive. laugh when you want to laugh, cry when you want to cry, hide when you want to hide.

when emotion over mind, it's just too much to say anything.

we lose our mind too, sometimes.

we do not need words to get well by. it's too far way for what words can easily do.


p/s: pardon me for all the missed called and no reply msg when I'm lost.

Shin - my housekeepr

i have a cat. his name is Shin. he is my housekeeper. he likes to sleep alot and totally ignore human being most of the time. not so friendly, not so cool. cute one, not so obedient one..

i added 2 songs in this blogspot post

just added 2 chinese songs in imeem music player.

first song, quite meaningful as it tells me i can be stronger and be myself..
second song, trix told me she thinks of me when she listens to this song.. (i know why..)

seriously, i know you guys just worry about me, for me being too negative and be blinded.. well, like trix said so i can be more wiser in relationship. every relationship makes me stronger, this i confirm.

let's laugh for the tears and looking forward to a better 2008.


1. 《崇拜》Fish Leong

你的姿态
你的青睐
我存在 在 你的存在
你以为爱
就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜
我活了 我爱了
我都不管了
心爱到疯了 恨到算了
就好了
可能的
可以的
真的可惜了
幸福好不容易
怎么
你却不敢了呢
我还以为我们能
不同于别人
我还以为不可能的
不会不可能
你的姿态
你的青睐
我存在 在 你的存在
你以为爱
就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜


我活了 我爱了
我都不管了
心爱到疯了 恨到算了
就 好了
可能的
可以的
真的可惜了
幸福好不容易
怎么你却不敢了呢
我还以为我们能
不同于别人
我还以为不可能的
不会不可能
你的姿态
你的青睐
我存在 在 你的存在
你以为爱
就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜
风筝有风
海豚有海
我存在 在 我的存在
所以明白
所以离开
所以不再为爱而爱
自己存在 在你 之外
梁静茹 - 崇拜



2. 《是非題》范瑋琪

每段故事都有一篇劇情
每段愛情都像動人旋律
一顆真心卻只向著你前進
也許愛越單純越著迷

你是窗外另外一片風景
在你眼裡我是什麼關係
你的呼吸存在我的愛情裡
何時能 誠實面對自己

我們從不開口那個原因
那一句我愛你 永遠像少了勇氣
別人都說 我和你之間的關係 沒有人相信只有關心

我們從不證實那個問題
那一些是非題 總讓人傷透腦筋
我會期待 愛盛開那一個黎明 一定會有美麗的愛情

你是窗外另外一片風景
在你眼裡我是什麼關係
你的呼吸存在我的愛情裡
何時能 誠實面對自己

我們從不開口那個原因
那一句我愛你 永遠像少了勇氣
別人都說 我和你之間的關係 沒有人相信只有關心

我們從不證實那個問題
那一些是非題 總讓人傷透腦筋
我會期待 愛盛開那一個黎明 一定會有美麗的愛情

Hey~~~

我們從不開口那個原因
那一句我愛你 永遠像少了勇氣
別人都說 我和你之間的關係 沒有人相信只有關心

我們從不證實那個問題
那一些是非題 總讓人傷透腦筋
我會期待 愛盛開那一個黎明 一定會有美麗的愛情

Hey~~~

____________________________________________________________________________________

p/s: pardon me. this post strictly for those who can read/understand chinese.

yesterday and today

for some stupid reasons, i blamed ppl for not a valid reason and/or evidence. i jumped into conclusion without even think. when you got pissed, you will find all the reasons to make you yourself feel better. haha.. this what i did yesterday night when i could not find my bowl. my bowl = a bowl belongs to me myself. it is okay for him or for her to use it. but remember to put it back after use right. do not put it back never mind, still ask me for bowl. = . = ! he knew i was damn pissed at the moment i could not find my bowl and i knew there is no reason to misplace my bowl(because i seldom use it and im sure the bowl was in the cupboard last week when i cooked). just so so coincidence that she moved out this week. what lah? do not expect me to put a straight face and do not expect me to say something good okay. it is a cheap bowl. so what? this doesnt mean ppl will not take your cheapo stuff right? so what happened was i thought she took it when she moved out.

oh okay. fine. it is my fault to jump into conclusion too fast without searching for any proof. luckily he found my bowl and returned to me.. anyway, i cursed the one who took my bowl.. so ..

i m sorry,R & J.

________________________________________________________________________

had a craving for beef recently, something very hard to explain.

for this craving, i suggested to go korean bbq today with my coworkers. uncle lim always brings us out for food. he brought us to this Nak Wok at korean village(ampang). just that, this korean bbq restaurant does not serve the favoured tea(some sort of grain tea).
very full for lunch..

i had korean bbq again for dinner!!

1 day 2 meals 2 korean bbq.. haha..

tomorrow.. i wanna go for fruit diet.. i wanna go to buy fruits and only eat fruits..

2008/01/01

happy 2008! being the first day of 2008, just cheer for a good year ahead!

this year, oh last year actually. i had a quiet and peaceful evening on both christmas eve and new year eve. i basically rot at home. did nothing and just watched dvd. a very different way for me. the quiet moments calm me. hope you guys had a great evening.

pardon me for all the missed calls and no reply msg. thanks for your greetings. when i write it here, it will remain =)

31/12/07, 2.57pm, michelle aka strawberry (hey, surprisingly she is the first)
31/12/07, 5.58pm, angel kajie
31/12/07, 6.12pm, william cheng aka william boy
31/12/07, 7.19pm, chris
31/12/07, 8.18pm, wilson cheang
31/12/07, 8.40pm, cynthia
31/12/07, 8.48pm, sze ting
31/12/07, 10.20pm, liang waah
31/12/07, 10.26pm, caryn
31/12/07, 11.31pm, adrian foo
31/12/07, 11.34pm, kc
31/12/07, 11.59pm, lawrence law
01/01/08, 2.51am, zhun
01/01/08, 4.45am, steven
01/01/08, 11.16am, david chong


let's laugh for all the tears and fears we had for the past years. this is the past that make us to be what we are now. all of those do not matter now.

be grateful and be hopeful.

let's laugh for 2008!

2008/01/01

happy 2008! being the first day of 2008, just cheer for a good year ahead!

this year, oh last year actually. i had a quiet and peaceful evening on both christmas eve and new year eve. i basically rot at home. did nothing and just watched dvd. a very different way for me. the quiet moments calm me. hope you guys had a great evening.

pardon me for all the missed calls and no reply msg. thanks for your greetings. when i write it here, it will remain =)

31/12/07, 2.57pm, michelle aka strawberry (hey, surprisingly she is the first)
31/12/07, 5.58pm, angel kajie
31/12/07, 6.12pm, william cheng aka william boy
31/12/07, 7.19pm, chris
31/12/07, 8.18pm, wilson cheang
31/12/07, 8.40pm, cynthia
31/12/07, 8.48pm, sze ting
31/12/07, 10.20pm, liang waah
31/12/07, 10.26pm, caryn
31/12/07, 11.31pm, adrian foo
31/12/07, 11.34pm, kc
31/12/07, 11.59pm, lawrence law
01/01/08, 2.51am, zhun
01/01/08, 4.45am, steven
01/01/08, 11.16am, david chong


let's laugh for all the tears and fears we had for the past years. this is the past that make us to be what we are now. all of those do not matter now.

be grateful and be hopeful.

let's laugh for 2008!